8 by 8 poster covered walls; my place away from the world…maybe a girl or a pizza every now and then, but i’m still the knot in the burl…
found myself walking out on the road with my head in the clouds…saw the way they shaped my self and kept me locked away in my shroud…
be Zen Dennis i keep telling myself, but i haven’t heard a word i said…better off dead, than living a giant question mark…
and on the test i got an F …You See Kay, i am what i have always been…
a Denizen of truths i cannot take, a bundle of nerves and god forsaken…no GPS can put me on the right track…{reconfiguring…..}
…running on empty for the things i lack.
Locked away in your padded room, i found it all one day…all i’ve been trying to say.
Medicated and wholly sedate, the voices are quiet for now….i can still see their faces, and i can’t take my eyes from their gaze…
Why was i born like this?…Who could i have been?…my only question to the god in the sky, whom or whatever that is…
why not just leave me where i was, before this plain of X-is-Tense…i’d rather be some splotch of light or energy, sitting in it’s 8 by 8 poster covered hovel thinking about everything and nothing.
What was the plan when you created man?…that first spittle on the face of the seed which grew into all we know or ever knew…and where are you?
why don’t you come frolic by the window, sip from my cup of last week’s coffee while we talk about Nick Blinko’s art…or the start of a new future…
me, somewhere else…you, on some shelf somewhere stuffed into the back of a warehouse on a long, dark road out behind the local distribution center…
pan up and you’ll see the tire-tracks that lead to the main road, just South of anywhere…and follow them to the next town, pass the Cracker Barrel on the corner…
you know those iron-skillets really are the best…
those or Pampered Chef…
the view pans out further and further, and higher and higher…until we see the state as a whole…
…my state, my hole.
…for now i’m stuck in this 8 by 8 room…with it’s rust covered walls, and no chance of redemption…
the rust won’t come off, no matter how i try…so i just think of it as burnt-orange…somehow it seems cooler that way.
I need help. I need a new brain…scoop out the seeds from the old squash and replace me a new gourd…
my just reward for years of strife, which came from inside my own mind.
When you tell someone you have Schizophrenia, they kinda don’t know what to say, or even do…they clam up and mutter some kind words of solace, their best Band-Aid for your wound. Only, they don’t realize that if they had just listened you would have felt better about it…instead, they change the subject after that long, uncomfortable silence, which is narrowly quelled by their off-hand gesture, a hand on your shoulder…” yeah my uncle had it i think…he was always weird…oh, no offense or anything…blahblahblah……” …
“…hmm, yeah thanks…” ….
I try. I try to cope. I try to cope with the shit. I try to cope with the shit-hand i was dealt. i try to cope with the shit-hand i was dealt, but i didn’t wanna play in the first place…remember? i told you that before…right? Or did i just think it?…ahdunno i can’t remember either…
Like a puddle, i catch the sky’s tears in my basin…til they drain off to the side, dissolving into Munch’s Scream…Menchi’s dream of Art by Mind…her hand so kind.

My whole life through, it’s been settle for this quabble over that, bartering crap for crap.
Still the rain-tears fall, and my cup is full of all the piss and puke and spit from the run-off…but, at least i have a drink now…
How to know how? That first foot-fall is essential to find your proper path…you’re gonna laugh but i just farted!!
I’m open-hearted, that’s why i had a fractured start…i tripped on my right shoe-lace and dropped all the drinks that were left…hors-d’oeuvres all over the carpet, what a mess!!

Well, they let me take the test again…i got a ‘ D ‘ …for dennis.
I need to keep studying so some day i’ll get an ‘ A ‘ for Awesome!!
If i still care by then…
i barely do now. Hardly a word that can change it all for me…hardly a notion that could make me see the light through the darkness in my sight…
forever night, but the daylight’s shining in and my posters are brighter today…
maybe there’s hope after all…